Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ugly In Kentucky

I have found that, unfortunately, there are some ugly things in Kentucky.  Not many and I am not dwelling on them at all, because we are so delighted to be here and enjoying everything so much.  But here are some ugly things to see. First is the gas meter in my yard:
First, you would think that someone, somewhere, could come up with a cute design, maybe embed it in a concrete raccoon or maybe make it look like a little moonshine still.  Oh, no.  It looks looks like....well, shoot, I don't know what it looks like but will take suggestions as to what you all think it DOES look like!  And ugly grey to boot.  I may have to go out and paint it white with red candy cane stripes or something.  I could put a trellis on either side of it.  Or maybe just put a lot of decorative stone on it, in my interpretation of Beauty and Freedom.  So I am open to suggestions as to what I can do to hide it.  The winner gets the pint of moonshine in my refrigerator.  Yep.  That's another blog, though.
Oh, yes, it is right NEXT to the driveway where someone could nicely back over it and blow themselves to Kingdom Come. Sheesh.
Here is the next entry for Ugly in Kentucky:
Now all summer, I thought this was a nice little bush in the front yard.  But the fall came, the leaves fell and what did I find?  A stump.  Just an ugly old stump.  So what do I do with this?  Just cut the whole thing down?  Turn it into a birdfeeding platform on top of the stump?  Ugly, ugly, ugly.  At least it is off to the side of the front yard and not nearly so ugly and noticeable as the stupid gas meter.
Last is a gem that was actually in my house:
Ain't it purdy?  Why it was right there in our large bathroom. I could wash a passel of little kids all at once in there, and maybe that is why they put it in.  They call these garden tubs and they hold about 200 gallons or so.  Bearing in mind that I have a 40 gallon water heater and we have to buy our water now (as opposed to having a well here), I do believe it has never been used by anyone.  That lovely yellow shade was set off with deep raspberry bathroom counters (which have been replaced, also another blog).  To my great surprise, we were able to get this out of the house without cutting it to pieces.  We put it out on the road and in three days, it was gone.  Someone, somewhere has 1) A nifty Koi pond, 2) a pool for the kids to play in, 3) a water container for farm animals or 4) something to put in the annual Christmas parade.  For example, you could turn it over, paint it green and with a little creativity, it could be a Christmas turtle.  Now I've never seen a Christmas turtle, but hey, I'm open to new traditions and all.  After all, look at Kwanzaa.  Do they have turtles in Kwanzaa?  Well, they should.  They use a lot of green in their celebrations and I can just see a tasteful Kwanzaa turtle being featured in everyone's front yard for that holiday.
It took up a lot of space in the bathroom and when I have the extra money, we will put in either a bathtub there or maybe a whirlpool.  Now THAT would be purdy!


  1. Oh my gosh, thanks for the laugh. That bathtub! Raspberry-colored tile! Did they have a lot of mirrors on the ceiling and walls of the bathroom too?

    Anyway, our neighborhood has covenants for covering up visible meters, septic tank covers, trash cans, all that good stuff. Since your meter is next to your driveway - and the meter reader needs access - I would probably make a short "shield" of two or three panels of PVC lattice and posts, and then in front of that plant boxwoods or some low-growing bush. If nothing else, it will make it a little more visible so no one runs over it. I hope. :-)

    Thanks for the morning laugh!

  2. Builder Mama came up with a good idea for the meter. For the stump, plant a vining plant, like clematis or even a climbing rose. Or go for cheap and buy some morning glory seeds and plant around the stump. You'll end up with a tumble of green foliage and pretty flowers to cover it up.